Being George Washington - Week 4

I've been waiting for this week.  I knew it'd be coming and that it would prove to be the most difficult for me yet.  So, let's just get to it, shall we?

9. Spit not into the fire, nor stoop low before it; neither put your hands into the flames to warm them, nor set your feet upon the fire, especially if there be meat before it. 
This is not the rule I am referring to from above.  We don't have a fire place, so when would I ever practice this rule?  However, we did burn dead brush after cleaning up after yard work this week.  The fire was still smoldering that night as Paul and I sat around it with a nice glass of wine.  With my flashlight in hand, I walked around the yard to pick up stray sticks that fell as we dragged tree limbs to the pile earlier that day.  After sitting back down with wine in hand, I noticed that there was a nice roar to the fire, thanks to my throwing of the flashlight in along with the twigs.  Not my proudest moment...

This rule was created when fire pits were the main source of cooking.  Obviously who would want someone spitting into the fire near your food?  Some people have no aim!

10. When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them. 
This is it.  This is the one I have been waiting for and dreading all at the same time.  This one really hits home for me and try as I might, I have failed.  Something so simple, yet so difficult!  I know you think I must be crazy, so I will explain why this is more important than it sounds.  Perhaps it'd be better to experience it.  Call me up and schedule a lunch date with me and you will understand clearly what my husband and friends go through on a regular basis.

I didn't even realize I was so bad at this until I started working a year ago and eating out so much.  I have mentioned before my slight Attention Deficit Disorder...  I think you might think I'm joking about it like so many people do, but ...SQUIRREL....  it really is an issue for me.  I didn't realize it until recently though because I think that throughout my life I've subconsciously compensated to make myself appear "normal".  One of those ways of achieving this is instead of looking like I can't sit still, I keep my top half calm, cool and collected all the while underneath the table there is turmoil in my constant switching of one leg over the other, shaking my leg, shifting my feet around or a combination of all, much to the chagrin of those who innocently are the silent victims of my ADD.  Ok, they aren't so silent when they grab their shin and yell "Owwww"

Even now as I write this, both feet are going back and forth.  My conclusion:  restaurant tables should be wider to allow more leg room. 

11. Shift not yourself in the sight of others, nor gnaw your nails. 
These rules were written hundreds of years ago.  Meanings of words change over time and I am curious as to whether he means shift not your feet, like moving back and forth while standing or shifting your clothes, like when your shirt needs straightening?  I guess either way it makes you look less polished and less put together.  Shifting your clothes to straighten them out is something everyone does.  Some are less conspicuous about it and some don't mind pulling their pants out from...  ok, I just can't even go there; grossing myself out.  


I have never chewed on my nails.  Score!  WooHoo!  So this past week even while major failing one rule, I soooo got the other two.  I am well on my way to "Being George Washington" after all!

Next week rules 12-14.


12. Shake not the head, feet, or legs; roll not the eyes; lift not one eyebrow higher than the other, wry not the mouth, and bedew no man's face with your spittle by approaching too near him when you speak.

13. Kill no vermin, or fleas, lice, ticks, etc. in the sight of others; if you see any filth or thick spittle put your foot dexterously upon it; if it be upon the clothes of your companions, put it off privately, and if it be upon your own clothes, return thanks to him who puts it off.

14. Turn not your back to others, especially in speaking; jog not the table or desk on which another reads or writes; lean not upon anyone.